


A Juicy and Red Luncheon

by Laplace_Aura



Category: Star Trek: Deep Space Nine
Genre: Characters discover in-universe rpf of themselves and can't stop reading, Cultural Differences, In-Universe RPF, M/M, Reading Aloud, character enthusiastically supports other character's interests even if they don't understand
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-29
Updated: 2020-05-29
Packaged: 2021-03-03 00:01:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,404
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24365476
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Laplace_Aura/pseuds/Laplace_Aura
Summary: Garak makes an offhand joke about what he reads online, and this leads Bashir towards reading some highly erotic real-person fanfic.Of himself and Garak. Together, of course.
Relationships: Julian Bashir/Elim Garak
Comments: 1
Kudos: 20
Collections: Writing Rainbow Make Up Round





	A Juicy and Red Luncheon

**Author's Note:**

  * For [cereus](https://archiveofourown.org/users/cereus/gifts).



As the pair approached the replicator Garak turned about to face his companion, "Remind me what exactly was the issue that's been plaguing the replicators this time?"  
"Oh it's quite simple. No large cuts of beef." He replied, and set to waiting his turn to enter his order, "At first it was just a matter of it being the fully rare type, and then for some reason it's spread all the way to nearly well-done levels. Beef flavoring is still possible, but if you were hoping for a steak you'd have to wait."  
"Would I? Well-done is still an option."  
"Well that's the problem. There's the standard variances on any planet, but for the most part steak is considered at it's best when it's below that threshhold." He explained, now entering in his own selection. "Juicy and red. There's been a myriad of health concerns about what temperature beef should be cooked to, the various methods, and that's before even getting into the theoretical ethics raised of eating beef and the logistical concerns."  
"Is it really that hazardous?" Garak asked, as his order pulled itself together from the component molecules.  
"Again, a storied history of debate. With the advent of the replicators we now take for granted the debate has shifted entirely to more spiritual matters." He said, walking back with his tray to their usual spot. "But I suppose with the concept of rigid hierarchies meant that something like vegetarianism came about on Cardassia Prime, did it?"  
"Not that I recall, although there may have been a movement or two I'm forgetting. It's a fairly foregone conclusion that the lives of animals are beneath you on a base level of not belonging to your own species, let alone your own kin." Garak mused, "The animals you brought into your home as companions are a different matter, but the taboo seems to be one of the standard routes societies take."  
"Yes, and even then it begins to become abstracted with the advent of the replicator."  
"Circling back to that again are we?"  
"It may have been on my mind with current circumstances. All sorts of questions change when something doesn't have to be killed in order for you to eat..." He threw back, "but I'm sensing you have something else on your's?"  
"One of many. A similar problem is posed within the realm of fiction, as to what morals can be ascribed of an author and by extension the reader... would you say you're familiar with 'fanfiction' and the like?"  
Bashir coughed and tried not to let his eyes open too wide, or add another notch to the number of times he's revealed his hand, to the many lining Garak's proverbial belt, "I think everyone is to a degree."  
"There seem to be as many options for personal satisfaction when it comes to writing fanfiction as there are with living and breathing in the world we live within. It's almost wondrous what people think up, but it does leave lingering questions about what it tells you of others... either way I found something interesting while browsing online the other day."  
"Oh?"  
"It was a story someone had written regarding real persons. It's not an original concept granted, but it did catch my eye when I noticed who it was written about."  
"Something tells me I should be afraid... I'm hoping someone hasn't written another holosim about Gul Dukat..." Bashir replied, growing more suspicious with every word that came from his friend's lips.  
"Oh on the contrary. Still public figures, but something more personal rather than a public scandal." He stated, and broke eye contact long enough to make his deceit that much more damning to hear, "It was one concerning myself."  
"Really, someone chose to write about you?"  
"Along with yourself." Garak said, and began to sip from his drink.  
"Ah..." Bashir said, starting to stare down at his plate, "Is it, good?"  
Garak took a moment as to whether he'd actually say it, and then responded, "It would depend on the reader. I only skimmed."  
"Of course, of course."  
"Why, were you curious?"  
"Oh, not me. I don't think I could ever be so self-absorbed that I would really search for, uh, stories about myself." Bashir said, getting up to bus his tray.  
"I think I find myself in the same court." Garak added, following him.

  


"Please just hear this one part out," Bashir stated leaning over the counter of his friend's store.  
"I thought you were kidding about losing sleep over it enough to actually look for it." mused Garak.  
"I was at first, but you have to admit the part about you trying to hide how deep you'd been stabbed is fairly accurate. It's absolutely the sort of thing you'd do."  
"Would I really?" Garak asked, turning to give the doctor a look, "Especially when the person checking is the one I, hypothetically, trust the most?"  
"Given the number of times you've done something similar outnumbers the amount of fingers I have... _well_." Bashir stated, rolling his eyes as he continued on, "Anyway despite being an outsider to our daily lives they seem to have gleamed a shocking amount of what it all looks like..." He explained.

_"Garak sputtered as he laid back in Bashir's bed. The infirmary would never have done for such a private man, especially considering the state of undress he was presently in. "Is that Rokasso I smell-" He asked, but caught himself wanting to double over in pain, already pushing himself too far. From the other room came Bashir with a glass of Rokasso juice, something he'd remembered would soothe the wounded man's spirit, and maybe with something added to make him accept the necessary vulnerability to receive the treatment he needed, albeit not urgently."_

"Well?"  
"While I admit that they might be accurate in that I'd appreciate a glass while unwell... I'm not certain that's fully accurate. I'm sure you'd bring me to the infirmary rather than to your own quarters." Garak raised.  
"I probably would, _unless_ something else was on my mind. Charmed by the protection you'd give in a situation of danger in the following scenes I reward your chivalry with a more compassionate touch than you'd find in the infirmary." Bashir replied, laying his datapad onto the counter.  
"And I'm sure his hero rewards him thusly."  
"Oh he does. The scene that follows stretches on for the rest of the chapter!"  
"How much of this have you read." Garak asked, squinting more openly than he'd normally approve himself to do.  
"More than I probably should have, but I have to in my defense: It. Is. _Enthralling._ "  
"Well I am happy that this curiosity has brought at least one of us happiness." Garak replied, nearly chuckling to himself as the conversation moved onwards to more appropriate public discussion before a customer peeked in on the pair.

  


"Well, it seems I am at an end with this epic tale." Bashir said, almost sad as he set down his datapad.  
"Oh, well it seems I can return to having a conversational partner who isn't busy with reading a reality where I sweep him off his feet."  
"You almost sound like you're as sad to see me finish as I am."  
"It did keep you occupied for a fair bit of time, so I would say a little bit more than it seems. Was it, good?" Garak said, and asked in a way to mimic how the doctor had asked him the same thing only a few days prior.  
"I would say so. The prose itself is fairly well-written, and they managed to keep the tone of voice mostly consistent." He replies, and smiles for a moment, "I think the most interesting thing was the creative liberties they took concerning cardassian reproductive health... It's creative to say the least, but a bit less than accurate."  
"And how would a spry young human doctor ever know what happens in a cardassian man's bedroom..." Garak said in his own turn, " _Unless,_ "  
"-I pretend to know nothing first hand. I will admit the cardassian habits are less documented than say klingon ones, but I'm sure.." Bashir stated, and noticed the touch atop his left hand. Garak's own had crossed the table, and was softly stroking his own.  
"Sometimes it's best to speak from experience, at least in my view, I suppose." Garak replied with an all too knowing smile.


End file.
